MEN & WOMEN
~ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... & at times in arms of the Beast
~ Women who seek to be equal to men...LACK AMBITION!
~ Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young
~ I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want
~ Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and like any other man, is too stubborn to ask for directions.
~ I Wish I Was Barbie. That Bitch has EVERYTHING.
~ I wasn't born a bitch; men like you made me that way.
~ If You Think I'm A Bitch, Wait Until You Meet My Mother-in-Law.
~ Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich.
~ No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.
~ Don't Trust Men .... Esp. when they are married.
~ Few women admit their age, few men act it.
~ For Men to get an idea, it would be a surgical process.
~ Gals r like 1000rs note....u know how many have handled it but u still wanna have it
~ There was a man who once understood woman, he died laughing!
~ Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
~ Man has will, but woman has her way!!!
~ Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air
~ Behind every successful man, there's a woman
Behind every unsuccessful men, there are two
~ When a Man becomes Rich he bcums Naughty
When a Woman bcums Naughty she bcums Rich
~ Women were born to WOO MEN but why do they WOE MEN??
~ Women are like electric mosquito repellent lights
they first atract men towards them
and then man gets the shock of his life
~ How does one know a man is going to say something smart??..His senentences start with " A woman once told me.."
~ Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men!
~ To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
~ Woman 1 :Nice hair style,,,,,,
Woman 2 : oh, Thank you , Thank you very much.........
I actually got this style from that famous hairdresser and
you see this one is the latest trend and i got it after lot
consultation with my friends and colleagues and this is the
style of lot of heroines in recent movies and to get this
hairstyle, first you have to get your hair dried...........
Man 1 : Nice hairstyle dude......
Man 2 : Yeah.
~ Why Airplanes are better than Women ?
Airplanes usually kill you quickly ...a woman takes her time.
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch....
Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go"....
Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection....
Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation....
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits....
Airplanes can be flown any time of the month....
Airplanes don't come with in-laws....
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before....
Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time....
Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes....
Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines....
Airplanes expect to be tied down....
Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills....
Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong....
However...when airplanes go quiet...just like women...it's usually not good.
If you miscalculate and make a mistake with an airplane, you don't have a bunch of "little airplanes" flying around out of control!
When your airplane is sitting there looking at you face to face whining @ 15,000 r's, you want to hear more!
With an airplane, your frequency is continuous, and not just once or twice a year!
The shape of an airplanes empanage stays constant over the years!
Airplanes don't stop for yard and garage sales or tupperware parties!
If an airplane gets in the way, you just put it out in the garage, and that is that!
It is interesting watching an airplane stall!
If a woman ground loops, it is usually more than just a broken prop!
~ 1) What is the difference between and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
2) Why do always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are...
3) What do have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them
forever.
4) If you drop a men and a brick out of a plane,which one would
hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????.. ...
5) What did God say after he created man?
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created woman
6) What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
Answer:I don't know, I've never seen either.
7) What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business
8) What makes men chase women when they have no intention of
marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have
no intention of driving
~ Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.
~ She got a mudpack and looked great for two days"
Then.....
....
...
...the mud fell off.
~ Behind every successful woman...is her maid
~ Womens's Dictonary
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
~ The trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing...and then marry him!
~ Why dont women gamble?
Their total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage!!!
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
~ The trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing...and then marry him!
~ Why dont women gamble?
Their total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment